A daily journal of our lives (begun in October 2010), in photos (many taken by my wife, Evie) and words, mostly from our home on Chautauqua Lake, in Western New York, where my wife Evie and I live, after my having retired from teaching English for forty-five years in Hawaii, Turkey, and Ohio. We have three children, seven grandchildren, and one great-grandson, as you will notice if you follow my blog since we often travel to visit them. Photo taken from our back porch on 12/05/2024 at 8:53 AM
Friday, September 30, 2011
ECHO HOUSE: WARD JUST
I just finished my third novel by Ward Just, and like RODIN'S DEBUTANTE, I really enjoyed it though it was quite different, taking place in Washington, DC, from the 1920's up to the 1990's. If you want a book about Washington, it's politics, especially the behind the scenes maneuverings, then this is the perfect book for you, like EXILES IN THE GARDEN. It follows the fortunes of the Behl family, from the patriarch Adolph, a senator and failed Vice Presidential candidate, to his son Axel, WWII veteran and Washington insider, and the grandson, Alex, at first an outsider, but gradually he too is drawn to Washington and ends being the consummate insider, like his father, intimate with Presidents, Senators, Prime Ministers, and the wealthy, able to fix almost any problem because of their experience, knowledge of all the secrets, and understanding of how things work, that the true power is behind the scenes, not with the Visibles, who everyone writes about. We mostly follow the lives of the father Axel, his almost career ending wound from the war, his marriage, his rise, and the son, who struggles to differentiate himself from the father but ends up becoming the son. The texts insights in to Washington are incisive, the story full of twists and turns, but it rings true, authentic, making you both dislike and admire those who give their lives to something larger than themselves, the ideal of the US, flawed and corrupt and pecuniary as it may be. These are men who enjoy their power and wealth though they seem to seek nor enjoy neither.
Shades of Friday Grays
7:58 |
We ended up going in to see Lloyd in the hospital for the first time yesterday afternoon. He is in pretty bad shape, as almost everything has gone wrong and there's not much they can do, just keep him comfortable and sedated. He did seem happy to see us though it's very difficult for him to talk and he gets tired very easily. He is supposedly going off to physical therapy nearby today, but I cannot imagine he will be able to do much, as his muscles have atrophied and he is very discouraged by the prognosis and the way he feels, often nauseous, little appetite, and some pain. It's unclear how bad the liver cancer is, along with his other problems. His daughter and grand kids came in just as we were leaving and they lit up the room, great kids, 8th and 5th graders. We took Vi out to her favorite restaurant, Palmer's, right across the street from the hospital and allowed her to vent for a couple of hours. She's an amazingly strong woman after all she has gone through and is going through now. We are going to try to go in at least once a week to see Lloyd and take her out, just to get her away from her routine and give her a chance to talk and laugh a little. It's makes us so sad and feel so lucky. Inshallah.
After a walk at the CI, we have largely spent the afternoon curled up on couches reading, though I did take another load of weeds off to the woods. We are heading shopping around 5:00, to Sam', Weggie's and Home Depot, then we are meeting Sam and Donna Nelson for dinner at the Rod and Gun Club in Lakewood. We have not seen them in a while so it will be good to see them. Most of the day has been gray, like the photo above, though we have had only a spit of rain, nothing noticeable, though Buffalo has had quite a bit.
Thursday, September 29, 2011
New Pantry Shelves in Closet
7:46 |
Evie's New Pantry Shelves |
Up at 6:15 to a darkened, wet world, just a dab of rain last night. It's cooler today, about 53 degrees outside, as the sun struggles to peak through the clouds. A quiet lake, an occasional fisherman, nothing else. It looks like the clouds may move on for a time, but rains are supposedly coming the next couple of days along with much cooler weather.
Just got back from a long kayak ride out to Tom's Point, across to the homes at the tip of Lake Drive, then skirted along Long Point to the tip, and then sailed on home to safety, just kidding. It was calm going out, quite windy coming home, with the sun coming out for a bit as we rowed. I also just picked up another four buckets full of stones, storing them up for just before winter, to fill in holes as needed in our road.
I also had breakfast club this morning, and all were there. Joe just got back from fishing in Roscoe, NY, meeting his son who works for the consulate in Jerusalem. He said the damage along the roads East, especially #86 is enormous. He said even the trout streams were washed clean of all algae and moss, thus the fishing was poor. We talked a lot about the lake, the fact that a real estate agent mentioned 5 people turned down houses this month because of the lake condition. I assume there's some truth in this but cannot be sure. We were planning on going into Painesville to visit Lloyd Buck who has been in the hospital for three weeks now, but complications have arisen, so we are putting it off for a few days till things get settled. His poor wife has to deal with all these difficulties and we wanted to take her out for dinner, just to get away but it didn't work out.
Wednesday, September 28, 2011
The Clouds of Fall---Amazing
Awoke late, to a room filled with orange light, got up, raced downstairs to see if I could catch a picture of the lake just before or as the sun was rising, but I was too late, it was above the horizon and filling the living room with bright light, so bright that I had to sit somewhere other than my usual couch.
Because it's supposed to rain later (what else is new), we went for an hour KAYAKING trip, off to the Marina, back to Sandy Beach and the home. Of course, just as we got half way across the lake, the sun hid behind the clouds, it got darker and cooler, so most of our trip was not quite what we expected though just about the time we arrived at our dock, the sun came out again and it's been a great morning ever since. Evie's been inside organizing the kitchen, after our closet and pantry and I just picked up another four buckets of # 3 crushed stone...what fun!
As you can see, I have been obsessed with the clouds of a fall afternoon, so similar each afternoon but so different. They seem more puffy, more distinct, more unusual, even closer than any other time of the year. When sitting out on the dock reading, especially on a fall afternoon, it's hard to keep your head into your book as the clouds are so demanding. It also helps that I have time to look, something I have noticed about retirement. You have time to see things, to sit back and observe the world around you, especially the natural world. I don't have to be somewhere, get ready for class, grade papers, go to practice, attend a meeting, worry about a kid. Just the large leisure of an 'endless summer.'
Tuesday, September 27, 2011
Cloudy, Cloudy
Fall Produce |
Raspberry bushes and Gala Apples |
Audubon cairns |
Sedum at Audubon |
I woke to the sound of rain on the roof, comforting because it was gentle. Although there was a chance of a fierce storm last night, we avoided it and I don't think it rained much if at all It's still warm enough, 64 outside, though it will cool off as the work moves along. I just heard of fisherman pull out of the docks next door, the only boat on the lake as far as I can see. It looks like a good day to stay inside and organize our new closet shelves for Evie, for me, maybe get more gravel (the pit closes at the end of the month), perhaps a movie. And there is a chance we might go visit Lloyd Buck, who has been in the hospital for at least three weeks, batting all kinds of problems. Vi has so far told us to stay home, that Lloyd's not doing well, is uncooperative. We hope she will let us come to see her at least. It's not a good situation.
We saw two good movies the last couple of days. Last night, we watched WIN, WIN, an intelligent, character driven movie, set in middle class suburb, where the main character Mike Flaherty (Paul Giamatti), a struggling lawyer, compromises his ethics when agreeing to act as the Trustee of an aging retiree with Alzheimers. Things get complicated when the retiree's grandson comes to live with the grandfather, but since Paul put him in a home, the youth ends up staying with the lawyer and his family. Kyle's a run away, from a violent home, and just happens to be an all state wrestler, Paul just happens to be the local wrestling coach, thus the story. It gets complicated when the Mom returns to get her son, and the money her father has saved. Figuring out how to satisfy all sides, the Mom, her son Kyle, and himself is the core of the story. Nothing flashy just a pretty good story about struggling to make it in the world, making mistakes, and hoping that you might get a second change. The other film, French, called INCENDIES is a much darker, more serious film, set in Lebanon during the Civil War in the 1970's. The story begins with the funeral of a Lebanese women, who has worked for twenty years as a secretary for a lawyer in France. He reads the will to her two children; she demands that before they bury her, they found their father and brother. Neither knows why she asks this, but the sister decides to go to Lebanon and the story of their mother is retold. It begins with her being outcast by her family for having a child of a Muslim out of wedlock. She ends up being politicized, tortured, then eventually escapes her captors and ends up in France. As the children slowly undercover her past, they realize how this seemingly passive women has lived a life of passion and violence, that she was not just a secretary. Through flashbacks, we see her life, her desire to find her son, the accidental discovery of who he is, the shock leading to her death. A very strong movie, lots of violence, between Muslim and Christian, repraisals and torture, all part of the Middle Eastern scene in Lebanon in the 1970's. It is not the kind of movie you enjoy though it was interesting and worth watching.
After a cloudy morning, it's cleared up, despite the forecasts, and its been a lovely day, in the low 70's, sun and puffy clouds, just right for fall house cleaning for Evie, gravel trips for me. I think my ditch is going to be an never ending story, as it sinks down each time it rains, demanding more and more gravel. Time to go read on the dock, as it's almost 3:00.
EVIE SWAM ABOUT 5:30!
After a cloudy morning, it's cleared up, despite the forecasts, and its been a lovely day, in the low 70's, sun and puffy clouds, just right for fall house cleaning for Evie, gravel trips for me. I think my ditch is going to be an never ending story, as it sinks down each time it rains, demanding more and more gravel. Time to go read on the dock, as it's almost 3:00.
EVIE SWAM ABOUT 5:30!
Monday, September 26, 2011
Indian Summer Monday
Old Tractors at Busti Apple Festival |
Blue Grass Music |
Log Chopping Exhibition |
Tens and Crowds Around Apple Bins |
After our walk, we were close enough to Falconer that we headed to Abers Acres, where we picked a couple of baskets of fall raspberries, plump and juicy, and also picked up a half of peck of Gala apples, some corn and grapes. It's about 25 minutes from our house, not too far, and we came across a new restaurant, near by the pick your own, call The Pad, with an outdoor seating areas and bar, as well as a cosy indoor rustic looking restaurant. We will have to try it out with the Mc Clures.
We got back about 1:00 and were tired, so we have been relaxing, Evie outside reading and I'm in, having lunch, took a cat nap, and watched some of Sports Center. Later in the day, we cut the lawn, I went off to the library for some books and DVD's and picked up some ice cream (for the raspberries) and sauerkraut, for the pork and tomorrow's dinner.
And, though it's only 75 degrees out, WE WENT SWIMMING ABOUT 5:30. COLD BUT REFRESHING, AND WE WASHED OUR HAIR, BUT OF COURSE!
And, though it's only 75 degrees out, WE WENT SWIMMING ABOUT 5:30. COLD BUT REFRESHING, AND WE WASHED OUR HAIR, BUT OF COURSE!
We did go to the Busti Apple Festival yesterday, a very popular gathering here in the area. It benefits the Chautauqua Hospice, so there's a three dollar fee. Like last year, it was very crowded, especially the central area of buildings where they have out buildings, most selling things to eat, and outside, where there were craft exhibits, blue grass bands playing, huge troughs of apples to pick and buy, tents with various people explaining their crafts, like soap making, candle making, bee/honey making, embroidering, things like that. They also had some of the older styles of machines which might be used to take the corn off the cob for pop corn, or separate the wheat from the chaff. Once you left this major areas, a long street wound out to the south, and it was filled craft booths, like last year, of some of the most unattractive crafts one might come across but it did not stop people from flocking buy. Little if anything interested us as much as just looking at the people and because it was quite warm, we actually worked up a sweat walking, we stayed for little more than an hour. It's interesting to go but we both agreed that maybe once every other year might make sense.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
A Great Sunday for the Busti Apple Festival
7:31 |
7:33 |
7:39 |
Late afternoon, we went over to Maple Springs for a walk around their neighborhood, which it is, an actual neighborhood on the lake, seemingly more permanent than most, probably one of the oldest vacation spots on the lake as well. The homes still feel cottagy, a few are completely renovated but for me it still has the feel of cottages from the past, not the mansions on Prenderghast, or homes that are new, having torn down the old cottages. In fact, I can only think of two or three which seem to be tear downs, the rest retaining their 1960's look, though most, especially those on the lake, have been kept up. It was a beautiful afternoon to walk, hardly needing a sweater or jacket.
After our walk, we went to the Viking Club for dinner. It was my birthday, so I get ten bucks off my meal, thus our total was $5.87. I got cabbage rolls, something called Kalorades, very different from what I expected. They were cabbage rolls, stuffed with rice and meat, but no sauce, no tomatoes, nothing, just two rolls sitting on a plate with a dish of overcooked brussel spouts and a small bowl of mashed potatoes and gravy, very reminiscent of the kind we used to get for lunch at Euclid High School. The rolls were fine, just dry though filling. Evie got the burger with fries, for 5 bucks, thus our bill. We did split a pitcher of beer, we added to our bill, but it was an interesting evening, as the dining room was filled, mostly with older Vikings, a few families with children, their no doubt to enjoy an easy meal and watch the sun set. We had not been there in awhile so it was fun to go.
Saturday, September 24, 2011
Saturday Come Alive
7:10 |
Still Green |
Last night we went to Wendy and Charlie Heinz's house for dinner, in Chautauqua Shores, with two other couples we knew, the Redingtons' and Follansbee's. The Redington's children went to Reserve and he's part of the breakfast club. We knew Jeff Follansbee slightly, as he was our lawyer when we bought our house back in 1981. He moved a way for awhile but has come back, works as head of development at the CI. We have seen him and his new wife a couple of times, at other parties or the art opening we went to last year, though Gay, his wife does not seem to remember us. We sat around their living room, talking, sipping wine, enjoying brie and Swiss, as they constantly worked at keeping their dog at bey. He's a golden doodle, entirely out of control, though he's been to various schools. They love him but he is a constant irritation, I think, as they had to muzzle him when we arrived, though he does not seem aggressive, just curious and he's so big that they must be careful around others. And they obviously cannot leave food within his reach or it will be gone. Again, it's amazing how people put up with such inconvenience every day.
We had delicious stew over noodles for dinner, reminding us our an Austrian stew with caraway seeds and beer we used to make from Craig Claireborne's International Cookbook back in Istanbul. For dessert, we had a pumpkin custard/pudding with whipped cream on top. We talked about movies, TV shows, and as usual most people our age are unaware of Netflix and don't watch many of the programs we really like. It's interesting how different our tastes are. It's clear most of them are Luddites, as we talked about cell phone usage, how most hardly use theirs, don't know where to put them, and have no idea how to text. We talked briefly about Turkey though it's hard to tell if people have much interest in our stories. Mostly, they want to know about the political situation, whether we felt safe there or not. It was a nice evening though subdued as everyone seemed tired, yawning and tired looking. We all left about 9:30, just about right I think. We were glad to get home, to relax and get back to our books and Evie's Words with Friends.
Friday, September 23, 2011
THE DEATH OF SWEET MISTER: DANIEL WOODRELL
More Crushed Stones
#3 Crushed Stone, my favorite! |
My Man, Clyde, on the Cat |
Welcome Rain |
Well, it's just started to rain, as you can see from the picture, the lake gray, sky rain filled, still a couple of fisherman out. So, I have come in, gotten my Turkish tea brewing, and am enjoying sitting inside, listening to the rain, finishing my blog, and getting back to my fifth Daniel Woodrell book, THE DEATH OF SWEET MISTER.
Thursday, September 22, 2011
RODIN'S DEBUTANTE: WARD JUST
I have read a couple of books by Ward Just, though I have forgotten their names; I just know that he's supposedly a Washington D.C. writer, though this book is set in Chicago. It takes a couple of turns before you get into the story, baffling at first, but once you catch on, that it's the story of Lee Goddell, not Tommy Ogden, playboy, hunter, scallywag and founder of Ogden Hall, Lee's prep school, though it 's only a chapter or two in his life, which we follow from a Chicago suburb, to prep school, to college, the University of Chicago and Hyde Park, then marriage and beyond. You are taken with Lee from the start, as a young boy growing up after WW II in a small suburb, listening to his parents talk about the local problems, his father and the towns' leaders as they try to figure out how to deal with a brutal attack at the high school. Just creates interesting characters, leads us artfully through a young man growing up in a city like Chicago, so different from his early years. Each chapter of his life rings true, from youth, to high school, then college, then the beginning of life thereafter, as he tries to make sense of things, especially how memory of things past influence the future. I am finding out I read on because I want to figure out how the novel is going to end, though I usually have a pretty good idea. No bells and whistles, just a nice comfortable chair as we sit and observe as Lee charts his journey through family, school, art, and love.
SUMMER ENDS, AUTUMN COMES, ALSO LAKE FLIES
7:13 |
We had the Leonard's and Pat Jones over for dinner last night, as we wanted to have them both over before they head off for the winter. Neither is leaving yet but it seemed like a good night. We had Ina Garten's chicken pot pie, Mom's ice box pudding, so it was a good night. They all seemed to enjoy the food, and we had a fun night. It's interesting to get to know Pat, who is from Houston, and is friends with George Bush senior. She spends her summers here while her poor husband stays in Houston working, in terrible heat this summer. He comes up to the lake a few times during the summer but not enough, I am sure.
Chicken and Biskuits |
Tossing Salad |
Bill, Pat Jones and Joyce Leonard |
We just got back from a great KAYAK ride, headed up the northeast side of the lake, then back to our side and home. It felt like we were the only one's on the lake, though we saw one fisherman, two weed cutters heading back to Lakewood. Other than that, it was all ours.
We spent the afternoon doing two things; I picked up weeds, took them to the woods, did some reseeding of bare spots, and Evie did some painting, of our new shelves in the down stairs closet. Then, because it was such a beautiful day, we sat out on the dock and read for a couple of hours. It was like we had the lake to ourselves, with hardly a boat in sight for the entire afternoon, no one around at Woodlawn, just us, the sun, blue water, and a nice breeze to keep us cool. It says the temperature is 68 right now but it was certainly in the 70's in the sun.
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
GLOOMY AND GRAY ON THE LAST DAY OF SUMMER
I am heading into Erie to do some shopping, perhaps hit Wegman's as well, as its story in Erie is much better than Jamestown. We are having Pat Jones and the Leonards over for dinner tonight, before Pat heads back to Houston, the Leonards to Lexington, KY for a few days, to visit their daughter, Kathy.
Tuesday, September 20, 2011
TO END ALL WARS: ADAM HOCHSCHILD
The generals come off as buffoons, unwilling or unable to see that the cavalry was no longer effective, that the machine gun, gas, and other developments had changed dramatically the nature of war. Now a shovel, to dig ditches, was more valuable then a horse, a sword, a lance. And most importantly, there was no possibility of glory, of mano y mano combat, as the troops just sat in trenches, waiting to charge and be gunned down. It's unimaginable to think of what these young men went through though Robert Graves GOOD BYE TO ALL THAT is about as close as you can get.
Like many books about war, the statistics about the number of men killed are unimaginable; the Russians, always the worst, lost 90,000 men in six weeks early in the war. That pales next to the numbers lost during the Purge in the 1930's and during the war, I know, with estimates around 60 million, still, this was in a six week period.
Still, it's hard to understand the lure of war on the soldier, on the young, and it's the same for all wars. Here is a quotation from the text which tries to explain this: " The more wrenching and painful the experience, the greater the sense of belonging to a fraternity that no mere civilian could penetrate. Although the poet Robert Graves felt the war was 'wicked nonsense'...he found conversations with his parents (on leave) 'all but impossible.' In the end, he cut short his leave time and returned to the front. Veteran Guy Chapman adds: "Once you have lain in her arms (said of war), you can admit no other mistress. You may loathe, you may execrate, but you cannot deny her... No wine gives fiercer intoxication, no drug more vivid exaltation....Even those who hate her most are prisoners to her spell. They rise from her embraces, pillaged, soiled, it may be ashamed, but they are still hers (212-13).'" Chris Hedges added in today's The Writer's Almanac: "War gives us a distorted sense of self. It gives us meaning. It creates a feeling of comradeship that obliterates our alienation and makes us feel, for perhaps the first time in our lives, that we belong."
Perhaps the most upsetting is the incompetence and politics surrounding the Generals who ran the war. Field Marshall Haig was not only incompetent, unable to learn from experience, but used his political clout to keep his position. He lived like a pasha, in a castle, with retainers, servants, horses, etc., while his men existed in squalor. He continually devised plans to roust the Germans, each time a disaster, where thousands of men died for no reason other than his belief in his strategy and his God. At home, it was not much better as the government and military intervened with the press to make sure that the truth of the war, what was really going on, never drizzled down to the people, thus the people even in the 1917 were strongly in support of the war. Madness. Certainly, there were CO's and the like, and they were, for the most part, permitted to espouse their views, unlike other countries, but they were carefully monitored by Scotland Yard, to make sure they didn't go to far.
I have to admit am getting tired of this book, the same things over and over, lost battles, incompetence, fear of revolution or uprisings at home, with hardly a wift of something new, other than the coming of the United States into the war, finally, which ultimately turned the tide, as Germany's last putsch failed/ 200,000 American troops a month poured into Europe because of a German decision to use submarines to stop the US from sending supplies to Europe and an intercepted code from
Germany to Mexico promising them Texas and New Mexico if they came in on the side of Germany. The fear that Britain and France would not pay off their debts owed to the US also acted as a catalyst for involvement. Germany began to sue for peace only after their failed putsch and the fact that their citizenry, like those in England and Russia, were all living at or below poverty levels, as nothing was left to eat, all going to the war effort. And all powers feared what was going on in Russia, the supposed rise of the masses to overthrow the powers, wealthy and aristocratic, if only it were so, as Russia devolved into a dictatorship, authoritarian and ruthless, perhaps the most inhuman and deadly the world has ever seen, but that's another chapter.
The peace was just another prelude to war, mostly because of the stiff reparations demanded by the people, who through propagandists, had been made to view Germany as beasts without conscience, inhumane and cruel, and the anger of those countries who felt the brunt of the war, Lloyd George for Britain, Clemenceau for France. That they laid the grounds for WW II and the rise of Hitler is hardly debated any more. The consequences of the assassination back in Serbia in 1914 are staggering: 8.5 million soldiers killed on all sides, 21 million wounded. The toll among the young, of course, was particularly appalling as whole generations of French, British and German men disappeared, strangling the countries economies for decades...these would have been the leaders of a generation. Civilian deaths were estimated at 12-13 million. And to add extra irony, God dropped an influenza epidemic on the world, starting in 1917, with an estimated 50 million world wide, not sparing of course Europe. So, we have the deaths, the destruction of towns, roads, buildings, railroads, the depletion of resources, the enormous debts incurred, the rising of the underclass, and the flu epidemic, and you wonder how anyone survived, lived on. And even more difficult to understand, these three began another war, perhaps worst 25 years later. Madness reigns.
FALL FLOWERS
7:10 |
Yesterday, we saw the movie THE HELP. Evie had read the book but I knew little about it, so it was an enjoyable afternoon, with a bout 15 other retirees. Although it was filled with cliches, all the blacks were kind and thoughtful, the whites racist and appearance conscious, excepting Skeeter (Emma Stone who was wonderful), I enjoyed the movie, especially the acting of the two maids, Abilene and Minny, both so real that I forgot I was in a movie theater. It was a movie about character, mostly flat, but for Skeeter and the maids, so it was worth watching. I particularly enjoyed Jolie, the white trash wife, who brought some humor and energy to an otherwise serious movie about racism in Jackson, MS, in the 1960's. And I wonder if there really was an attempt by the legislature to pass a Sanitary Bill requiring all houses with black maids to have a black only toilet. Amazing.
After the movie, we went to the Seezurh House for dinner, Evie getting grilled prime rib, and I had the good old beer batter fried fish fry.
Monday, September 19, 2011
Sunday, September 18, 2011
FALL FEVER DEFINED
6:50 AM |
7:30 AM |
"There should be more Fall vacations or, at the least, more Fall week ends. The world is a wonderful place when the heat of Summer is past, the winds are not yet edged with frost, and Winter still lies a comfortable distance ahead. Summer’s dust and litter have been washed and blown away, the woodlands are full of wine and gold, and the whole land is at its colorful best.
Once you get out in the open, these Fall days, there is a sense of leisure without lassitude. Spring is all eagerness, Summer is hot laziness or sweaty haste; but Autumn is achievement and a measure of contentment. Autumn is a time when hills wait for climbing, when answers to half-realized questions lie in the thin haze on the horizon. That, at least, is the feeling of Fall. Spring fever makes one wish to lie in the meadow and wait for the answers to seek him out; but Fall fever make one wish to go and find the answers.
Adam ate the apple at this time of year, and this was the season when man first discovered the potentialities in a ripe grape. Things come to fulfillment now. Fledglings are ready to migrate. Young foxes bark in the dusk. Last Spring’s fawns come into old orchards to pick and choose among the windfalls. Even the winds are restless.
I have decided to post at least one dawn photo each morning, for the next few weeks till we take off for our trip East, to see how the mornings change as the fall season begins as well as wanes. They have been spectacular so far, but I am not so sure what cloudy or rainy mornings will be like, other than just gray.
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