Mid Week With The Grandchildren

Happy Seventeenth Birthday To Our Grandson, Nick

Nick At Play

Nick At Play, Too

I was up at 6:00 and Ramiro had already made the coffee, Mitch was taking a shower, and Evie came downstairs soon after, getting ready to make the school lunches and breakfasts.  And I sit here doing nothing, surfing the Net and writing my blog, an early morning sloth.  I may, however, take one of the kids to school!  At the moment, the skies a blue, who knows for how long and it's 26º.

Yesterday was more of the same, typical for most parents of school age kids.  Get up early enough to get the kids breakfast, make sure they have all their gear, and see them off to school.  Mitch was off by 7:00 as usual, but Marisa had an orthodontist appoint at 8:00, and Ramiro drove her there, waited an hour and a half, then dropped her off at school.  That was it for the day with the grandchildren until 2:30 when they start returning home.  Thus, we had a large part of the day to amuse ourselves, either staying in, getting some things done or going off somewhere to shop.

New Braces

Marisa And Cody

So we did a little of both, organizing things a bit, then going off shopping to, where else, TJ Maxx for Evie, and Best Buy for me, not that I needed anything but you never know when you walk in Best Buy what might catch your eye.  Of course, something did as I bought an adapter so we can play our Sirius Boom Box in the car through the lighter.  And I browsed Patel's, an Indian Foods store while Evie browsed at TJ.  We then hit the Stop N Shop, this one an Hispanic flavored store, which caters to the numerous Hispanics in the area.  I like this store, lots of interesting and different items though we find the prices here in CT expensive compared to Wegman's in Chautuauqua.

We were home by 1:00, in time for lunch, a ham and cheese sandwich and chips.  I seem to only have sandwich meat when I visit Darien because Beth always has it around for lunches for the kids.  I have to admit it tastes good.  Marisa and Mitch came home at 2:30, Marisa with a big smile on her face because she was sporting new green braces on her teeth and, fortunately, they had yet to bother her.

I was on pins and needles much of the day because I made a big decision; I ordered my third Kindle, the Paperwhite because I am tending to read more and more on the Kindle and I wanted one I can read not only at night but in sunlight.  They were supposedly having a special Valentine's Deal on it, so I bit the bullet.  It arrived around 4:00 and I am very happy with it.  The reading experience is much like a book, much better lit and clearer than my old Kindle, and it's easy to read at night, in fact, I have to turn down the illumination because it's too bright.  Just finished BEING MORTAL and am deep into WILD, so I am happy reader.

For dinner, Evie made the old Davis standby, Greek lemon chicken with rice and the family devoured it, as we had nary a thigh left after we sat down to eat.  In fact, we probably could have eaten more than eight thighs between us.  Marisa went up to bed at 8:30 and had to put on a head brace for her teeth, something that she will have to get used to.  She did not sleep well, as it's annoying when she tries to turn over.  Anyways, after dinner, we got back in our old routine, watched Jon Stewart and The Nightly Show and mourned the announcement that Jon Stewart was leaving The Daily Show at the end of the year.  First, Stephen Colbert, and now Jon Stewart.  What is happening to our TV world?  What are we going to watch during our dinners?  Project Runway? Fashion Police?  Say it ain't so.

I just got back from driving Mitch to school, came home in time to drive Marisa up to the corner and wait with her for the bus to come, along with two of her girlfriends.  It's now 8:00, kids are gone and Ramiro has just left for the city.

BEING MORTAL: ATUL GAWANDE

Atul Gawande, a surgeon in a Boston hospital, first came to my attention with the book COMPLICATIONS, an exploration of what it takes to become good at something, in his case, surgery.  This book is completely different, arising from the death of his father, also a doctor, in Athens, Ohio.  It's a thorough exploration of end of life care, in assisted living places, hospitals, hospice and/home, where we all end up, alas.  Certainly, this is not a feel good book, but it's a book everyone should read, young or old because it's either about you or your parents.

Briefly, he sees most assisted living places most interested in running a tight ship, making sure things run on time, patients are taken care of, pills given, lives restricted for their own good.  And he has a problem with this: it takes away end of life autonomy, freedom of choice, what the patient may prefer.  And he goes into detail about those caregivers who have dared to think differently, allowing patients to decide how they want to lives their lives, allowing them freedom to eat, wake, or sleep when they want.  And they usually allow animals, children, plants, a normal life in fact into their places, making them as inviting and home like as they can, so different from the stereotype of the assisted living homes.  And these pioneers proved patients were happier, money was ultimately saved, that this could be done without costing more money.  Half of the book deals with this sort of thing, exploring the new horizons in end of life care, which in some cases may last for years.  The essential of this experience is make the experience as close to what the patient want, hopes for, not a tightly just a well oiled machine, organized and disciplined but lacking warmth and humanity.

The second part deals with end of life and the difficulty in trying to decide when its necessary to stop the cancer drugs, the feeding tube, the various surgeries but often ignore or forget to ask what the patients want.  He lives these difficulties when his father's begins to fail eventually dies. He also does research and begins talking about wishes with his patients, something he rarely did well before the death of his father.  It's important, he realizes, to ask the patient what they know, how they would like to spend the rest of their days, with family and/or hospice or a hospital, waiting for another round of chemo or surgery which may or may not extend life.  Doctors are taught to do everything possible to prolong life but Gawande asks: what kind of life?  Life may be prolonged but is it worth it if you are on a feeding tube, or a quadriplegic, or worst.  Asking these kinds of questions before things get towards the end of one's life are important.  And he realizes even if we ask the right questions, there is always uncertainty about results; nothing can be known for sure except that we will ultimately die.

I thought the book could have been much shorter and I am not sure I needed all the examples, the stories of various patients' ultimate demise.  His solutions are fairly straight forward and reasonable, nothing earth shattering that makes the reader go wow.  It's mostly common sense, but we too often just put it off talking about end of life choices until it's too late.  So for that reason alone, the book may be worth reading.

Back To School Tuesday

Mitchell

Ramiro

It's a much nicer morning, school is in session, the kids are up, ready for bear.  Sort of.  Mitch has a big bio/tech test this morning, so he is going in at 7:00.  And Marisa has an orthodontist appointment at 8:00 in Stamford, twenty minutes away but fortunately, Ramiro, has time to take her, then drop her off at school.  It's overcast, what else, at 7:00, 25º in the shade, some snow early, then clearing tomorrow.

We did not venture forth into the wilds of Darien yesterday, staying inside bird watching most of the morning, as it was miserable out, cold, rain, then ice pellets, then a frozen driveway, walk, and streets.  It was a good thing that they cancelled school though I had my doubts early on.

A Female Cardinal

Evie and Mitch spent a good hour in his room, getting it in Evie-order and boy, I know what that's like.  Mitch now has a clean room, bed made, floor vacuumed, closets cleaned and clothes that no longer fit bagged, ready for Salvation Army.  I, of course, was a small help, lugging things downstairs, keeping Marisa occupied.  Fortunately,  a friend of Marisa's from up the street, called and came over and spent much of the afternoon here.  Evie got out the sprinkles, already had cookies made, and the girls spent a good hour or more decorating cookies, in wild, imaginative fashion.  It was nice to see them having fun.

Playing Games with Mary

Cookies By Crazy Ladies

It started to snow after lunch, big, soft snowflakes, falling slowly, so I had to get out for a bit, called for Cody, and off we went for a walk on the street.  There was already two inches of snow on the driveway and street, making walking much easier than the early ice.  Cody loved it though by the time we returned, he was ready to come inside.

A Snowy Cody

After their lunch, the girls wanted to go outside as well, so they suited up, and went out for an hour if not more. They even got out a shovel, cleared off the trampoline, and had fun jumping on it as it snowed.  How great to see kids outside enjoying the snowfall on a snow day, a throwback snow day.

We decided on pizza for dinner, at least that's what I wanted, so I got my way.  Mitch ordered from a local joint he likes, had it delivered, and we sat down to enjoy it later than usual, around 7:30 which was fine with me. Marisa went upstairs to read, so the four of us could watch the first episode of Better Call Saul, a spin off on Breaking Bad.  It's difficult to know how good it will be so, I will hold judgment only to say I hope its good.  We went upstairs at 10:30, and I finished my book, Being Mortal, by Atul Gawande and started the best seller, Wild, now a motion picture with Reese Witherspoon.

Snow Day---A Monday With The Grandchildren

7:40

Well, Mitchell and Marisa's wishes came through as we got an email early morning announcing the cancellation of schools here in Darien, CT., because of freezing rain, ice, and snow though at the moment, at 7:10, we have had no snow and it looks mostly like freezing rain.  The windshields of the cars are iced over but that's about it.  Skies are gray of course, a dingy looking morning, the temperatures most of the day in the high 20's.

Good Morning, Cody

Yesterday was a typical Sunday here in the Albarran household, relaxing on the couches, watching some TV, getting to that homework eventually, playing games, venturing out only if necessary which it really wasn't.  Kids slept in, which is what should be happening on a Sunday.  So we had to wait for breakfast until about  10:00.  Mitchell loves home fries or hash browns, so he and Evie made a large pan of hash browns for breakfast to go along with our eggs.  Not quite the hash browns from the Diamond Grille in Akron but good nevertheless.  I wonder if it's still open; I remember stories about Tiger Woods stiffing the wait staff by refusing to tip and the owner vowing Tiger would never eat at the restaurant again.  Good for him.

After breakfast, Evie convinced Marisa that a clean-a-thon was in order so they went upstairs to her room and completely reorganized it, Evie's specialty.  Since we are here in Darien, why not bring her skills and love for organizing and reorganizing to Darien.  Marisa got into it of course and at the end of the day, her drawers were in order, room vacuumed, closet  cleaned and organized.  Nothing like a room that's been cleaned, bed made, clothes put away to make you feel like sitting down at the desk and doing homework, which Marisa did for a good part of the late afternoon, like a good girl. It's so heart warming to look in on her, as she sits at her desk, light on, filling out three by five cards, getting ready for the next day of school.  Mitchell escaped the eye of Evie (he won't today) because of school work (when asked to help out) and he eventually drove over to his girl riends house for the afternoon.

I had to get out mid afternoon and we needed some things for dinner so I drove off to Trader Joe's around 3:30, and most of Darien had the same idea as Joe's was packed.  I picked up the usual goodies, plus some pasta and veggies for dinner, then had my car washed because it was so filthy from our trip here.  In Chautauqua, I get my car washed for six bucks; here, at Splash, it cost me twenty four bucks to get it done, hand dried though!  And the place was packed, with lots of guys with rags, drying and cleaning the cars.

When I got home,  Evie was putting together dinner, frying turkey meatballs, then dropping them in the pasta sauce, a dinner which sounded good to all of us.  Spaghetti and meatballs, with bread and salad is definitely a comfort food.  I had DVRed the Cavs/Lakers game, so I watched some of that when I got home, and we then had a glass of vino before dinner.  Mitch got home just in time for dinner at 6:00 and we were all hungry, devouring the meatballs and bread and salad.  After dinner, Evie and I did up the dishes, as the kids finished their homework in case there was school.  Marisa went to bed at 8:30, in rare form, happy and annoying at the same time.  And she knows it, loves it.

After the kids went to bed, we watched half of the Grammy's, also saved, so we could fast forward through the  commercials.  They were somewhat disappointing as many of the 'singers' were more showmen and dancers, then the old time crooners.  Sam Smith, the winner of four Grammy's seemed to be the exception and Annie Lenox gave an amazing and energetic performance.  We were in bed by 10:30, hoping to get a good nights sleep.

It's 8:00 and ice pellets are hitting the house and windows, and it's great to know we don't have to go anywhere, no work, nothing, just sit here with Evie, in a quiet house,  and enjoy the ugly morning with a third cup of coffee, waiting for the kids to rise.

Sunday With The Grandchildren

A New Hair Do, Ready For Dance

It's 6:35 and I have been up for a half an hour, the sky just starting to lighten an otherwise dark outdoors.  Coffee's made, so I am happy just sitting in a house where everyone is still sleeping.  It's 26º out, high around 36ª, the same as Chautauqua, with most probably rain in the afternoon, a good day to stay inside I suppose though I would love to go to Weed Beach, with Cody, the dog, and walk some along the Long Island Sound, about fifteen minutes away.  I need to see water (or a frozen lake)!

In The Air

Yesterday was a long day for Evie, Marisa, and Ramiro, a boring day for yours truly. Everyone was up and had breakfast by 9:00, as Marisa had a FEIS in Rye, NY, starting at 11:00 in the morning.  So Evie and Rami and Marisa took off at 9:30, after Evie helped Marisa put together her Irish hairdo, a must for an Irish Dance performance I guess.  A hair piece is piled on top of her head, and it looks cute but why?  Perhaps so all the girls look alike, a fairer judging?  Anyways, Mitch and I had the rest of the day to ourselves and we did little around here.  I did watch some basketball on and off during the afternoon, in between squirrel watching,  and Mitchell cleaned his room, did some studying, before going over to his girlfriends house mid afternoon, leaving me alone in the house with only the dog.  So what was there to do but take Cody out for a walk in the cold.  He loves it, dances around when I ask if he wants to go for a walk.  And it felt good to be outside for awhile, even if it was overcast.  Maybe we should get a dog?

Eastern Elite Squirrel Figures Out How To Open Feeder

A Pinhead Squirrel Gorges On Birdseed

While I was home relaxing on the couch, the Irish Dance trio were in an auditorium from 10:00 to 5:00, mostly sitting around waiting interminably, or so it seemed, for another dance to begin.  Marisa had seven dances, each around a minute, so there were long interludes in between her dances, lots of downtime though you could also watch the other girls dance.  No firsts for Marisa this time which is rare...she blamed it on Evie for being there, making her nervous (just kidding).

Poised To Dance

They were happy to get home on familiar ground, Marisa exhausted from dancing, Evie and Rami from sitting around for seven hours.  Marisa quickly went up to take a shower, and she felt much better, was back to her old annoying self in a half hour.  The adults relaxed with some wine before we ordered Chinese take out from Steam. It was the perfect dinner, just what I have been wanting since we don't have a Chinese restaurant near us any more; we have to drive to the mall.  We then watched another one of Marisa's favorite shows, and Evie's I might add, Project Runway until 10:00 when we all decided to  go up to bed.  Rami, however, waited up for Mitch until he got home at 10:30.

A Weekend Begins At The Albarrans

Dinner With Mitch And His Friend, Mimi

I woke at 6:20, just like home, came down and turned on the coffee system, which grinds, then brews, then keeps your coffee hot for a good while.  It makes quite a racket for the first 30 seconds, as it grinds away, but after that, it's just waiting for the morning elixir of the Gods.  It's 23º here, the same as Chautauqua, though no snow is forecast.

Snowy Morning In Connecticut

Yesterday was our typical day here in Darien, the major task, to get the kids off to school on time, which I managed.  The rest of the day was ours to fill, so we just hung out for the most part, since Beth is gone for the week for a well deserved change, and decided to get some things done, mostly clean up some of the disarray that kids always seem to create, book bags on the floor, coats on couches, winter jackets and skiing paraphernalia in heaps.  I can remember the same thing with our kids; they seem to have forgotten how to pick something up.  I am sure my mother  felt that way about me, especially my bedroom.  I think something must change as you get older, as you become a neatnik to some extent, like to see your house or room in order, perhaps taking it to the extreme in some cases.  I know I like to see the kitchen straightened up enough each evening to do the dishes after our dinner; Evie, by the way, does not discourage me from this neatnik approach.

I did manage to take Cody for our usual morning walk.  When he sees me, he jumps up and runs to the door, knowing I am the only dog walker in the house.  The roads have a three foot pile on snow on the sides which made it difficult for him to do his business.  He managed.  We relaxed after lunch, soup and chicken sandwich until the kids returned home, both by 2:30 which seems awfully early.  I remember our other granddaughter, Marlena, who lives in Kansas City, getting off the bus at 4:20.

When the kids got home, Evie made them a snack of nachos, with cheese and salsa, which we all enjoyed.  Evie and Marisa then hung out, and I helped Mitchell clean up his room, a major teenage catastrophe, as our most boys' rooms.  He acquiesced to my suggestion because his girlfriend was coming over and staying for dinner.  At 4:00, Marisa wanted to go to the library, so off we went to Darien's amazing new library, with self checkouts.  No need for a librarian anymore Patsi!  And Mitch and his friend, Mimi, for some reason, decided to go to the pet store uptown to get a fish for Mitchell's room, the excitement of the afternoon, as they had to wait for a couple of hours for the water in his bowl to heat up.

Rami arrived home around 4:30, after spending the past week traveling on the West Coast, so he was glad to get home and see the family.  For dinner, Evie made shoyu chicken, rice, broccoli and a salad, and we had an enjoyable dinner with the kids, Mitch's friend, Mimi, who we got to know her better.  She is a cutey, of course.  After dinner, Mitch and Mimi went off to her house and Ramiro suggested going out for ice cream at the local ice cream joint, Gofers, one of these places where you order ice cream and they have mega choices of toppings for a sundae or blizzard (they call it a razzle).  Three of us got razzles, mine with caramel/sea salt and pretzels and only Evie got a sundae, hot fudge of course.  We came home and watched Marisa's favorite show, America's Favorite Videos, a show I have not watched in years.  It is pretty funny.  After the show, all of us were tired, so we went up to bed around 10:15, a good day.

End Of Day Ice Cream At Gofers

This morning, Marisa, Rami and Evie are off to and Irish Feis for the day at the Rye, NY Hilton, about a half hour drive.  Mitch, Cody and I will hold down the homestead while they are away, me watching basketball, drinking beer, and eating chips, Mitch watching his fish swim and studying for his SAT, a fine way to spend a Saturday.

Zero Degrees In A Sunny Connecticut

Marisa, Our Granddaughter, School Ready

A Cold Darien At 7:47

We are all up around 6:45, Evie, as well as Marisa and Mitchell, who have school.  They are a bundle of energy early and Marisa, particularly, is driving Evie "nuts" who needs quiet in the morning with her coffee.  She is not going to get it.  It's overcast outside, lots of snow for this area, as they had no school on Monday because of a heavy snow fall.

A Thursday Morning Sunrise on Chautauqua Lake

We left Chautauqua yesterday as we planned at 8:00, just as the sun was painting the early morning sky, a reminder of what we were leaving behind for a week or so.  Grandchildren or sunsets? Grandchildren, always! We had hoped for an easy drive and it was, a few snow flurries at times, but the roads were fine. The first hour or two, one lane was snow covered, the other wet but the last five hours, the roads were dry, the sun even came out occasionally.  And the Catskills,  the picturesque thirty or forty mile drive along the Beaver Kill, a winding river, was disappointing, gray and a few snow flakes, the river frozen in places.  We stopped twice, once in Bath, NY,  for gas, right near Keuka Lake, where are nephew, Connor,  goes to college and his parents were going this weekend to visit.  And once more for gas, in the mountains, before our final leg to Darien, down Rt. 7 to Norwalk and the Merritt, the worst part of the drive because it seems endless and always has traffic.

We arrived as we thought at 4:00, greeted by Beth, Marisa and Mitch, the latter two home from school.  It was great to see them and as usual, I think Marisa is even taller than when I last saw her, at New Years.  The kids look great, happy that they have only one more day of school, then the weekend, then one more week of school, and winter vacation.

We relaxed until dinner, had our glass of wine, and then an easy dinner, what the kids asked for, my sister Linda's sloppy joes which we brought along frozen, thinking the kids would like it.  Marisa was tired, went to bed early, Mitch did his homework, and we watched the Cavaliers destroy the Clippers on TV.  We were both in bed by 10:15, having been up since 5:30.

Just got back from dropping Marisa off at the bus, taking Mitch to school at 7:30.  Rami returns late afternoon from a week long business trip.